As the third year of medical school is coming to a close, I've been spending a lot of time looking back in reflection. In less than 2 weeks, I will be taking my last exam as a 3rd year medical student (OB/GYN), and I will be free for 2 weeks of vacation! It's amazing to me how quickly this year has gone. I know that each and every week, every month, and every new rotation, I was excited, nervous, and ready for the next step. It seems to me a common trend that everyone is anticipating the future. As an undergrad student, I was eager to be in medical school. And now each year, I am eager for the next year. And as I come to my final year in medical school, I am thinking about residency. It is all part of the journey to think of the next stepping stone on our path, but we must ask ourselves: are we missing the beauty and the experience we receive along the way?
Looking back, I am already sad to see how quickly the years have gone by. I can remember my medical school orientation. I can remember meeting those people at the Northwest campus - little did I know the friendships I would build. I can remember getting my white coat (although I think I blacked out a lot of the white coat ceremony due to nerves and excitement). I can remember learning Biochemistry, Anatomy, Physiology, Neuro, and Pharm. I can remember studying so hard but also enjoying the times I spent with the friends I made. I can remember my second year of medical school, and how quickly it seemed that test known as boards crept up on me. I can remember listening to Lose Yourself as I made my way to that exam. I can remember the butterflies in my stomach and my heart in my throat as I opened that email with my board score to have relief sweep over me. And now, another year is past.
This year, I have grown and learned more than I have realized. I found my passion in pediatrics. I can still remember the one patient who I will never forget - a little boy in a traumatic accident whose life was changed forever. I can remember the little 7 month old who always seemed to cry unless he was held. I can remember loving my pediatric neurology time. I can remember the psychiatric unit I was on during my psych month and how the patients were troubled but so fun to talk with. I can remember those long hours I spent on my medicine month in the new hospital with the beautiful room. I can remember the first heart surgery I scrubbed into on an 8 month old boy. I can remember the first time I ever performed CPR. I can remember first-assisting to remove a lobe of lung from a lady with lung cancer. I can remember the first baby I ever delivered. I can remember the feeling I had when I held that little 2 pound boy in the palms of my hands that we delivered via C-section at just 24 weeks. These are the moments I will never forget.
As I move forward to my final year of medical school, I am amazed yet again at how quickly it passes by. As we step forward to another part of our journey, I hope I enjoy every day and every patient I interact with. I hope that every day is a learning experience. I can never understand the amount of blessings I have been given in this life. While the struggles these past three years have been more than real, I can honestly say I would never have done it any other way.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
A Long Winter and A Little Motivation
In the time since my last post, I have finished my Medicine block and have officially started my last megablock of my third year -- Surgery! Everyone says that it's the most difficult, mostly in regards to hours. I started with my subspecialty month, which gives me 10 days of pediatric urology, 10 days of pediatric cardiothoracic surgery, and 10 days of anesthesia. So far, I haven't had to work too hard... mostly 10-12 hour todays (although I was given today off for the weather and no surgeries!). I will then start general surgery in March (which I am most nervous for). They work you the hardest, and I'm almost positive I don't want to do surgery (plus the fact that the patient population will be adults again ;)). I am, however, looking forward to April/early May because I will have 5 weeks of OB/GYN and I do love myself some babies! :) I am 95% sure that I am set on doing pediatrics. When I am at the pediatric hospital, and I have a little girl come up and randomly hug my knees, or I see a little baby with Down Syndrome dancing back and forth with a big smile in his dad's arms, I cannot help but feel happy and love what I do!
I do have days where I am over this year - especially knowing what I want to do, it seems a waste of my time and seems to drag by. I know that I am learning something new every day, but I am ready for the next step. Fourth year will start in June, and we get 3 months of vacation, plus 6 months of our own chosen electives :) which I am excited for! I am ready for residency... to learn how to become a working physician of my own. I am ready to be done living in "big" cities and ready to go back to my home and live in the country! I am ready for the next step of my life. I have to keep reminding myself of why I took this path, and that each day is a blessing to learn and grow. I know that it is true, but there are days (every day) I miss my boyfriend, my family, and all my friends back at home.
There are also many things that have been on my mind in terms of things I want to do -- writing a book and poems is one of them! I know that people say all you have to do is start, and I know it is true, but it is difficult after most days getting up at 5 am, working from 6am-6pm, and coming home know I still need to study before bed. Some day, I hope that I can work on my writing. Some day, I hope I can write something that is good enough to get published. It's funny, because some day in the back of my mind, I wonder what would be if I had gotten a PhD in literature instead - been a college professor and had tons of time for my writing. But I know that God has a plan for me, a reason why I am passionate about healthcare and medicine. I just have to keep reminding myself and giving myself the motivation for a few more years.
I am thankful for the support from my amazing boyfriend. Good news that he was accepted into dental school!!! :D It makes me my heart swell to see his dreams coming true. I am thankful for my family. Not only for their support, but from the memories that made me grow up to become who I am today. It is hard to be so far away from my parents, my sister, my brother, and my nieces as they grow up. I am thankful for my friends - the ones who have stuck beside me since the days of middle school, high school, and college. They know who they are.
So as this long, cold, snowy winter has 6 weeks left, I keep reminding myself that when the snow melts, there will be room for green grass and flowers to grow. And in the meantime, I need to continue to stoke the fire of motivation in myself - and push through the next few months, knowing that the ultimate day will come when all my dreams have come true.
I do have days where I am over this year - especially knowing what I want to do, it seems a waste of my time and seems to drag by. I know that I am learning something new every day, but I am ready for the next step. Fourth year will start in June, and we get 3 months of vacation, plus 6 months of our own chosen electives :) which I am excited for! I am ready for residency... to learn how to become a working physician of my own. I am ready to be done living in "big" cities and ready to go back to my home and live in the country! I am ready for the next step of my life. I have to keep reminding myself of why I took this path, and that each day is a blessing to learn and grow. I know that it is true, but there are days (every day) I miss my boyfriend, my family, and all my friends back at home.
There are also many things that have been on my mind in terms of things I want to do -- writing a book and poems is one of them! I know that people say all you have to do is start, and I know it is true, but it is difficult after most days getting up at 5 am, working from 6am-6pm, and coming home know I still need to study before bed. Some day, I hope that I can work on my writing. Some day, I hope I can write something that is good enough to get published. It's funny, because some day in the back of my mind, I wonder what would be if I had gotten a PhD in literature instead - been a college professor and had tons of time for my writing. But I know that God has a plan for me, a reason why I am passionate about healthcare and medicine. I just have to keep reminding myself and giving myself the motivation for a few more years.
I am thankful for the support from my amazing boyfriend. Good news that he was accepted into dental school!!! :D It makes me my heart swell to see his dreams coming true. I am thankful for my family. Not only for their support, but from the memories that made me grow up to become who I am today. It is hard to be so far away from my parents, my sister, my brother, and my nieces as they grow up. I am thankful for my friends - the ones who have stuck beside me since the days of middle school, high school, and college. They know who they are.
So as this long, cold, snowy winter has 6 weeks left, I keep reminding myself that when the snow melts, there will be room for green grass and flowers to grow. And in the meantime, I need to continue to stoke the fire of motivation in myself - and push through the next few months, knowing that the ultimate day will come when all my dreams have come true.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
In Time for the Holidays.. Being Thankful
It's been a long time since I've posted (which I've noticed is becoming a trend). Today is the 1st of December, and I'm just now returning from the Thanksgiving holiday. I had a four-day holiday weekend, and it was much needed. I absolutely loved spending time with my family and my boyfriend's family, eating food, laughing, and then Christmas shopping :) The month of December is absolutely my most favorite time of year! Ask anyone who knows me - I love the Christmas music, movies, baking, family, friends, buying gifts for loved ones, lights, decorations, the list literally goes on and on :) But now on to my journey of becoming a doctor!
Since the last time I posted, I finished up Pediatrics. I spent the month of September on the Complex Care service at Riley Hospital. I absolutely loved it as much as I loved the outpatient month. When I got my grade for my pediatrics rotation, I had such great comments from attendings and residents that it was amazing to me to hear what they had to say. One comment told me that the world would benefit if I became a pediatrician! :) It's so nice to hear good comments when you work so hard but yet have no idea how you are actually doing. After pediatrics, I did a month of neurology. I spent 2 weeks on inpatient pediatrics neuro at Riley and then 2 weeks on an adult outpatient service. Again, I loved the peds inpatient service. I got to learn a lot about seizures, but I also got to see a few more "interesting" and difficult to diagnose neurological problems. The adult service was a little too slow for my taste. Many times, patients wouldn't show up for appointments. I have loved neurology since my Neuroscience class my first year of medical school, and I have even debated becoming a neurologist. I think that after my neuro clinical rotation, I realized that as much as I love neuro, I think that I would miss treating cardiac problems or autoimmune problems, etc. I just finished a month of inpatient psychiatry. I saw patients who had ranges of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It was a very interesting month, and I learned a lot. The patients taught me more than I could have imagined.
Last week, I just switched to Internal Medicine, starting this month with the inpatient service. I am working at a hospital seeing only adult patients, treating a variety of diseases. I had two days of orientation, and so I only had one real day of work before the holiday. During the morning rounds, we saw patients in their 50s-80s. As soon as I got into the cafeteria for lunch, I saw a little girl about 2 or 3 years old walking with these little winter boots and sweater on, and right away I got this huge smile on my face. I realized that I absolutely, positively miss pediatrics already! I'm going to give Internal Medicine a chance, because if I like it I would go into either Med-Peds as I've mentioned before, or maybe even Family Medicine. However, if I continue to feel as I do right now, I feel as though I could be happiest going into Pediatrics. I had a meeting with a Med-Peds physician in November, and I remember a question she asked me that really hit me hard. She said "you first have to ask yourself a couple of questions. 1 - could you see yourself practicing medicine and never seeing kids in your practice?" I obviously said no - I love kiddos way too much. She then asked "the second question is whether you could see yourself practicing medicine without treating adults." And that question I really have been thinking about recently. I do like adults, and I enjoy working with the elderly population. However, I think I could see myself treating only kids. I like the diseases of kids much better - I've always been a fan of genetics and developmental biology, and those tend to be the major factors in the peds population. That's a big contrast to adults with hypertension and diabetes who mostly are stubborn and don't listen to your advice. I still have some time to decide, and next month I will be doing outpatient medicine, where I see patients similar to a family doctor again. There are just many things to think about....
During November, I did my "month of thankfulness" but I wanted to share it on this blog. So before I end this blog, which is rather short, I'd like to say what I'm thankful for - 1 for each day of the month (in no particular order).
1. My patients. I couldn't imagine doing any other job in my future than being a physician, and the patients are the reason why.
2. Good friends and good company. Days with friends are much needed in the midst of medical school!
3. My amazing boyfriend. We have been together for 3 years, and each day I love him more. I wouldn't be where I am without him.
4. My family and the amazing support they have given me throughout the years, especially in the last 3 years that I've been away at medical school.
5. Education. This goes along similar with my patients, but the academic side of education is something that is much taken for granted.
6. A place to live.
7. Food. #6 and 7 are taken for granted so often, and after seeing how others live in Haiti, I could never take these two for granted again.
8. Oakley. My cat has helped me survive 3 years of medical school, and he is the best pet and friend I could ask for :)
9. Children. Their spirits are so pure, their words are so hilarious; I just love everything about the kiddos.
10. Having a car to help me drive to and from home.
11. Freedom and living in the U.S. of A.
12. Books. Since the age of 4, I've been sucked into the worlds of many authors, and I'm easily willing to admit that reading is my favorite thing to do.
13. Laughter. It's easy to get wrapped up in all the things going wrong in the world, but laughter and joy are two things that make you realize the goodness of people.
14. Heat. During the cold winter months, I'm thankful to have running heat while so many others are unfortunately braving the cold :(
15. Clothing.
16. Health. So many people's health is taken away in a single moment. Be thankful every day.
17. Weekends - having some free time away from work and being able to relax and recuperate for the next week.
18. Coffee!!! Especially Starbucks and peppermint mochas :)
19. Showers.
20. Blankets.
21. Photos and the memories they contain.
22. Going home for the holidays and being able to see my hometown, friends, and family.
23. My pets at my mom's house that I've known since I was a kid - Conner, Lexi, Spike, and Buster.
24. Football :) especially the Colts
25. Snow!
26. Music (especially Christmas music ;))
27. The beauty of nature. Just take time one day to look around at the sky, the trees, the stars.. even in the dead of winter, I can't help but admire the world.
28. Thanksgiving Day - family, food, and all the things to be thankful for.
29. Church- Blake and I recently have found a new church with his parents, and I love the feeling of having a church to worship and give thanks in.
30. God. Without whom, none of the above would even exist. I can never give enough thanks for the blessings I have been given through the grace of God.
Until next time, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :)
Since the last time I posted, I finished up Pediatrics. I spent the month of September on the Complex Care service at Riley Hospital. I absolutely loved it as much as I loved the outpatient month. When I got my grade for my pediatrics rotation, I had such great comments from attendings and residents that it was amazing to me to hear what they had to say. One comment told me that the world would benefit if I became a pediatrician! :) It's so nice to hear good comments when you work so hard but yet have no idea how you are actually doing. After pediatrics, I did a month of neurology. I spent 2 weeks on inpatient pediatrics neuro at Riley and then 2 weeks on an adult outpatient service. Again, I loved the peds inpatient service. I got to learn a lot about seizures, but I also got to see a few more "interesting" and difficult to diagnose neurological problems. The adult service was a little too slow for my taste. Many times, patients wouldn't show up for appointments. I have loved neurology since my Neuroscience class my first year of medical school, and I have even debated becoming a neurologist. I think that after my neuro clinical rotation, I realized that as much as I love neuro, I think that I would miss treating cardiac problems or autoimmune problems, etc. I just finished a month of inpatient psychiatry. I saw patients who had ranges of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It was a very interesting month, and I learned a lot. The patients taught me more than I could have imagined.
Last week, I just switched to Internal Medicine, starting this month with the inpatient service. I am working at a hospital seeing only adult patients, treating a variety of diseases. I had two days of orientation, and so I only had one real day of work before the holiday. During the morning rounds, we saw patients in their 50s-80s. As soon as I got into the cafeteria for lunch, I saw a little girl about 2 or 3 years old walking with these little winter boots and sweater on, and right away I got this huge smile on my face. I realized that I absolutely, positively miss pediatrics already! I'm going to give Internal Medicine a chance, because if I like it I would go into either Med-Peds as I've mentioned before, or maybe even Family Medicine. However, if I continue to feel as I do right now, I feel as though I could be happiest going into Pediatrics. I had a meeting with a Med-Peds physician in November, and I remember a question she asked me that really hit me hard. She said "you first have to ask yourself a couple of questions. 1 - could you see yourself practicing medicine and never seeing kids in your practice?" I obviously said no - I love kiddos way too much. She then asked "the second question is whether you could see yourself practicing medicine without treating adults." And that question I really have been thinking about recently. I do like adults, and I enjoy working with the elderly population. However, I think I could see myself treating only kids. I like the diseases of kids much better - I've always been a fan of genetics and developmental biology, and those tend to be the major factors in the peds population. That's a big contrast to adults with hypertension and diabetes who mostly are stubborn and don't listen to your advice. I still have some time to decide, and next month I will be doing outpatient medicine, where I see patients similar to a family doctor again. There are just many things to think about....
During November, I did my "month of thankfulness" but I wanted to share it on this blog. So before I end this blog, which is rather short, I'd like to say what I'm thankful for - 1 for each day of the month (in no particular order).
1. My patients. I couldn't imagine doing any other job in my future than being a physician, and the patients are the reason why.
2. Good friends and good company. Days with friends are much needed in the midst of medical school!
3. My amazing boyfriend. We have been together for 3 years, and each day I love him more. I wouldn't be where I am without him.
4. My family and the amazing support they have given me throughout the years, especially in the last 3 years that I've been away at medical school.
5. Education. This goes along similar with my patients, but the academic side of education is something that is much taken for granted.
6. A place to live.
7. Food. #6 and 7 are taken for granted so often, and after seeing how others live in Haiti, I could never take these two for granted again.
8. Oakley. My cat has helped me survive 3 years of medical school, and he is the best pet and friend I could ask for :)
9. Children. Their spirits are so pure, their words are so hilarious; I just love everything about the kiddos.
10. Having a car to help me drive to and from home.
11. Freedom and living in the U.S. of A.
12. Books. Since the age of 4, I've been sucked into the worlds of many authors, and I'm easily willing to admit that reading is my favorite thing to do.
13. Laughter. It's easy to get wrapped up in all the things going wrong in the world, but laughter and joy are two things that make you realize the goodness of people.
14. Heat. During the cold winter months, I'm thankful to have running heat while so many others are unfortunately braving the cold :(
15. Clothing.
16. Health. So many people's health is taken away in a single moment. Be thankful every day.
17. Weekends - having some free time away from work and being able to relax and recuperate for the next week.
18. Coffee!!! Especially Starbucks and peppermint mochas :)
19. Showers.
20. Blankets.
21. Photos and the memories they contain.
22. Going home for the holidays and being able to see my hometown, friends, and family.
23. My pets at my mom's house that I've known since I was a kid - Conner, Lexi, Spike, and Buster.
24. Football :) especially the Colts
25. Snow!
26. Music (especially Christmas music ;))
27. The beauty of nature. Just take time one day to look around at the sky, the trees, the stars.. even in the dead of winter, I can't help but admire the world.
28. Thanksgiving Day - family, food, and all the things to be thankful for.
29. Church- Blake and I recently have found a new church with his parents, and I love the feeling of having a church to worship and give thanks in.
30. God. Without whom, none of the above would even exist. I can never give enough thanks for the blessings I have been given through the grace of God.
Until next time, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :)
Sunday, September 8, 2013
0.5 of an M.D.
Well I realized that it has been quite awhile since I posted on my blog (4 months!) Wow.. soo much time has gone by and things are so different since my last post! Last time I posted, it was May and I was actively studying for my Step 1 board exam! I am so so pleased and happy to say that part of my life is OVER and I got through it with a good score :) Hopefully the scores shows the residencies I apply to that I would be a good candidate for their program!
Things are different now - I am currently doing clinical rotations (which I don't think I need to say are a million times better than studying for boards, at least most days). We still have exams at the end of every rotation; for example, we took a Family Medicine exam at the end of June, and I will take my Pediatrics exam at the end of September. I started off in June with Family Medicine in my own small town area. I had a great experience with a local doctor. I really enjoyed the variety of patients. Most people say family medicine is only treating adults with high blood pressure, diabetes, and obesity. My experience showed me that this is a false point of view. We had adults, children, and even many pregnancies! I loved being able to see a 50-year-old patient and then walk in the next room to say a 2 week old! I really enjoyed the OB visits, especially once I got good at being able to find the baby's heart beat with the sonographer. :) By the end, I was able to help with procedures including mole removals. I had a great time, and it showed me that while I don't know for sure what I want to do after medical school, family medicine would be on my list of options.
In July, I had a vacation month, so I decided to take an elective in Medical Genetics. This means my vacation month gets added to my 4th year of medical school, which can help when you are applying and interviewing for residencies. The Genetics elective was also good, but a little different than I expected. I had a GREAT time getting to see many rare and interesting things - from Smith-Magenis Syndrome and Kabuki make-up Syndrome to Ehler-Danlos and Marfan's to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I really really liked the consults we were called to see in the Neonatal ICU and newborn unit of the hospital. The only downside to the rotation was that it was not busy. Each patient had anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour for an appointment (because of counseling purposes) but this meant if someone didn't show up, we had alot of downtime. I decided that I wouldn't be interested in doing medical genetics for a specialty, but I loved being able to learn about different syndromes and disorders to help me with my patients in the future. I was even lucky enough to be told by my attending doctor that I had an eye for genetics!
August meant the start of pediatrics. Last month, I was on outpatient peds, which meant that I spent most of my time in a regular well-child clinic as well as in an urgent care center. I LOVED it. The urgent care center was my favorite. I got to see patients on my own, interview them and do an exam, then staff with the attending doctor and give my plan for the patient and what I thought was wrong. It varied from strep throat (in which I got to do a throat swab) to viral stomach bugs to sad situations of possible child abuse. I got compliments from many different attendings that I would make a great pediatrician. When they asked me what I was interested in, I told them peds or possibly med-peds, and they said that peds would be a great choice for me. I am currently spending September on an inpatient rotation at Riley Hospital. I work on the Complex Care unit, seeing alot of failure to thrive, feeding dysfunctions, and a large variety of medical problems. I absolutely love seeing the kids and being able to work with them. It has shown me that I could not have adult medicine as my only patient population in the future. I have to either do Med-Peds (which is a double board certification in Internal Medicine and Pediatrics) or Pediatrics. Once I see how the rest of my year goes, I hope that I am able to narrow it down a little more.
I have had enough free time fortunately to spend some time with family. My June and July months were at home so I was able to stay with my parents and spend alot of time with family and my boyfriend. I am back in Indianapolis now, and while I love being here and able to work in the different hospitals, I do miss being at home already. Every time I go back, it shows me how much I love Small Town U.S.A. I can't wait to finish medical school and residency and be able to move back to my home area to help patients. I just hope that I am able to make the right decision for me in what type of doctor I should become.
I'm halfway done with becoming an M.D. and the last two years will go by quickly! It's been an amazing journey so far. I have met amazing new friends in medical school, have learned more than I could ever imagine, and have been privileged to help patients of all kinds. It only shows me every day how much of a blessing it is to be able to be in this field of work.
Things are different now - I am currently doing clinical rotations (which I don't think I need to say are a million times better than studying for boards, at least most days). We still have exams at the end of every rotation; for example, we took a Family Medicine exam at the end of June, and I will take my Pediatrics exam at the end of September. I started off in June with Family Medicine in my own small town area. I had a great experience with a local doctor. I really enjoyed the variety of patients. Most people say family medicine is only treating adults with high blood pressure, diabetes, and obesity. My experience showed me that this is a false point of view. We had adults, children, and even many pregnancies! I loved being able to see a 50-year-old patient and then walk in the next room to say a 2 week old! I really enjoyed the OB visits, especially once I got good at being able to find the baby's heart beat with the sonographer. :) By the end, I was able to help with procedures including mole removals. I had a great time, and it showed me that while I don't know for sure what I want to do after medical school, family medicine would be on my list of options.
In July, I had a vacation month, so I decided to take an elective in Medical Genetics. This means my vacation month gets added to my 4th year of medical school, which can help when you are applying and interviewing for residencies. The Genetics elective was also good, but a little different than I expected. I had a GREAT time getting to see many rare and interesting things - from Smith-Magenis Syndrome and Kabuki make-up Syndrome to Ehler-Danlos and Marfan's to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I really really liked the consults we were called to see in the Neonatal ICU and newborn unit of the hospital. The only downside to the rotation was that it was not busy. Each patient had anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour for an appointment (because of counseling purposes) but this meant if someone didn't show up, we had alot of downtime. I decided that I wouldn't be interested in doing medical genetics for a specialty, but I loved being able to learn about different syndromes and disorders to help me with my patients in the future. I was even lucky enough to be told by my attending doctor that I had an eye for genetics!
August meant the start of pediatrics. Last month, I was on outpatient peds, which meant that I spent most of my time in a regular well-child clinic as well as in an urgent care center. I LOVED it. The urgent care center was my favorite. I got to see patients on my own, interview them and do an exam, then staff with the attending doctor and give my plan for the patient and what I thought was wrong. It varied from strep throat (in which I got to do a throat swab) to viral stomach bugs to sad situations of possible child abuse. I got compliments from many different attendings that I would make a great pediatrician. When they asked me what I was interested in, I told them peds or possibly med-peds, and they said that peds would be a great choice for me. I am currently spending September on an inpatient rotation at Riley Hospital. I work on the Complex Care unit, seeing alot of failure to thrive, feeding dysfunctions, and a large variety of medical problems. I absolutely love seeing the kids and being able to work with them. It has shown me that I could not have adult medicine as my only patient population in the future. I have to either do Med-Peds (which is a double board certification in Internal Medicine and Pediatrics) or Pediatrics. Once I see how the rest of my year goes, I hope that I am able to narrow it down a little more.
I have had enough free time fortunately to spend some time with family. My June and July months were at home so I was able to stay with my parents and spend alot of time with family and my boyfriend. I am back in Indianapolis now, and while I love being here and able to work in the different hospitals, I do miss being at home already. Every time I go back, it shows me how much I love Small Town U.S.A. I can't wait to finish medical school and residency and be able to move back to my home area to help patients. I just hope that I am able to make the right decision for me in what type of doctor I should become.
I'm halfway done with becoming an M.D. and the last two years will go by quickly! It's been an amazing journey so far. I have met amazing new friends in medical school, have learned more than I could ever imagine, and have been privileged to help patients of all kinds. It only shows me every day how much of a blessing it is to be able to be in this field of work.
Monday, May 6, 2013
So close... yet feels so far away. The month of May.
So it's been awhile, and yet not much has changed. I had another exam today - Pathology final exam. It was only 2.5 hours and not too bad overall.... then half of my class went out for Mexican food and it was a good time :)
Last weekend, we had our MS2 end of year banquet. Since our school does regional campuses, 25 of us have spent the last two years becoming great friends. In less than a month, we will be split up, with half of us staying here and the other half going to Indianapolis. I have made such great friends and had great times throughout these last two years. We have all experienced strife, stress, and struggles as we fought doubts and regrets, and yes, even accomplishments. The banquet was bittersweet. It was wonderful to celebrate a half-way point and accomplishments not just with my medical school friends but also with our professors, but it was also an awareness that things will be moving on very soon. I know we are all VERY excited to start clinical experiences in a month, but I hope these friends are friends that will last into the future, even if when we are in medical practice, it becomes simple phone calls or emails to keep in touch. We also had very exciting awards that night. At the official banquet, I was shocked to be announced the Pathology award. Let's just say Pathology.... not what I would have imagined as my best subject! After the official ceremony, the students all had our own last "ceremony" after-party. Everyone received funny awards based on their personality. Unfortunately, mine apparently was "most likely to be on Facebook at work". However, it is very true that during lectures I have little focus and attention and more ADHD drawing me into online activities ;) Overall, it was a great time and a great semi-end to the year.
This weekend, my boyfriend was up to visit me. It was so nice to be able to spend time with him, even if it was just with me studying... He finished with finals last week, and so he was able to enjoy leisure time. He started reading the Harry Potter series after my great persuasions of how great the books are :) I was jealous because while he read Sorcerer's Stone, I was reading BRS Pathology! I don't think I need to tell you which one is more exciting. Anyway, this morning when I left for my exam, he left to go home as well. He took my cat with him to take back to my mom's house while I finish studying and prepare to move to Indianapolis. I was very, very sad to see both of them go. Now I have 2.5 weeks of studying alone at my apartment until this is all over! I cannot wait until May 24th at 5:00p.m..... that will be a very relieving feeling!
This past weekend was also graduation at my undergraduate school. Many of my friends graduated with Bachelors degrees and Masters degrees. I am so proud of all of them! I wish I could have made it back to celebrate with all of them. It's very hard to be away from all of your friends and family. Sometimes it feels as though my life is on halt while everyone else is still living theirs. I do realize that I AM living my life, and I keep telling myself it is for the ultimate purpose. I just hope that I am on the path God intends for me to be on. The past 10 years I have wanted and wanted to be a doctor, and I am extremely blessed to be given this opportunity. I know someday it will be worth it, and I hope my family and friends know how much I miss them every day! The day I graduate, and more importantly, the day I finish residency, will be a GREAT day of success and accomplishment, and hopefully in my future I will be near all my family and friends and able to again spend time with them. I pray that the score I receive on this Step 1 board exams gets me into the residency that fits my personality and lifestyle.
Well, I wrote this blog mainly to avoid some studying time after this morning's exam... now it is time to get back into lectures, First Aid, and UWorld questions. I look forward to informing you all when the boards are over about how the bricks have been removed from my shoulders!
Thanks again to all who read. :) Happy May!
Last weekend, we had our MS2 end of year banquet. Since our school does regional campuses, 25 of us have spent the last two years becoming great friends. In less than a month, we will be split up, with half of us staying here and the other half going to Indianapolis. I have made such great friends and had great times throughout these last two years. We have all experienced strife, stress, and struggles as we fought doubts and regrets, and yes, even accomplishments. The banquet was bittersweet. It was wonderful to celebrate a half-way point and accomplishments not just with my medical school friends but also with our professors, but it was also an awareness that things will be moving on very soon. I know we are all VERY excited to start clinical experiences in a month, but I hope these friends are friends that will last into the future, even if when we are in medical practice, it becomes simple phone calls or emails to keep in touch. We also had very exciting awards that night. At the official banquet, I was shocked to be announced the Pathology award. Let's just say Pathology.... not what I would have imagined as my best subject! After the official ceremony, the students all had our own last "ceremony" after-party. Everyone received funny awards based on their personality. Unfortunately, mine apparently was "most likely to be on Facebook at work". However, it is very true that during lectures I have little focus and attention and more ADHD drawing me into online activities ;) Overall, it was a great time and a great semi-end to the year.
This weekend, my boyfriend was up to visit me. It was so nice to be able to spend time with him, even if it was just with me studying... He finished with finals last week, and so he was able to enjoy leisure time. He started reading the Harry Potter series after my great persuasions of how great the books are :) I was jealous because while he read Sorcerer's Stone, I was reading BRS Pathology! I don't think I need to tell you which one is more exciting. Anyway, this morning when I left for my exam, he left to go home as well. He took my cat with him to take back to my mom's house while I finish studying and prepare to move to Indianapolis. I was very, very sad to see both of them go. Now I have 2.5 weeks of studying alone at my apartment until this is all over! I cannot wait until May 24th at 5:00p.m..... that will be a very relieving feeling!
This past weekend was also graduation at my undergraduate school. Many of my friends graduated with Bachelors degrees and Masters degrees. I am so proud of all of them! I wish I could have made it back to celebrate with all of them. It's very hard to be away from all of your friends and family. Sometimes it feels as though my life is on halt while everyone else is still living theirs. I do realize that I AM living my life, and I keep telling myself it is for the ultimate purpose. I just hope that I am on the path God intends for me to be on. The past 10 years I have wanted and wanted to be a doctor, and I am extremely blessed to be given this opportunity. I know someday it will be worth it, and I hope my family and friends know how much I miss them every day! The day I graduate, and more importantly, the day I finish residency, will be a GREAT day of success and accomplishment, and hopefully in my future I will be near all my family and friends and able to again spend time with them. I pray that the score I receive on this Step 1 board exams gets me into the residency that fits my personality and lifestyle.
Well, I wrote this blog mainly to avoid some studying time after this morning's exam... now it is time to get back into lectures, First Aid, and UWorld questions. I look forward to informing you all when the boards are over about how the bricks have been removed from my shoulders!
Thanks again to all who read. :) Happy May!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
The Road Less Traveled - Making a Difference
It's been a long time since I've updated this blog. I've given up Facebook for Lent and been busy with school and life. My grandfather who had advanced stage colon and liver cancer passed away last Thursday. His viewing and funeral were Sunday and Monday. It's one of those life events that really get you thinking. Family comes together in times of grief. I saw my aunts and uncles whom I normally only see at Christmas. We hugged, we cried, we even laughed. The memories of my grandpa are ones that everyone knows - he was an avid fisherman, hosting annual fish fries. He was a farmer from the time he was a child. He was hardworking and compassionate. I'm very thankful for getting to see him in his last few months. I have guilt that I didn't spend as much time with him over the past years as I could have. I didn't hear as many of his life stories or his hilarious jokes as I wanted to. I will miss him, but I know he is fishing in Heaven with Jesus, with my Grandma by his side.
This week also has me thinking about my journey in life. I have mentioned before that I am taking my board exam May 24th. As this looms closer, I feel less intelligent, far behind, and more petrified. I have known for almost ten years that I wanted to go to medical school and become a physician. I have never doubted it was what I wanted to do. However, I am struggling now more than I have before with the path this journey forces you to take. You are away from your family and loved ones, studying daily and becoming exhausted. I LOVE medicine - I love learning about the intricate details of the human body, the way your brain controls your every movement and thought, the way your heart is synchronized to pump blood throughout your entire body, the way our every breath delivers oxygen to our tissues. But while I love learning about how God beautifully and wonderfully made our bodies work, it does take a toll.
Ever since I was a child, I have loved to read - poetry, novels, short stories, really anything. I grew up in love with libraries and the lives the authors create within their books. When I was in middle school, I had a teacher who made us do year-long projects to learn about writing. We wrote poems and short stories. She would give us photographs and tell us to start writing a story. I still remember that my photo was a shoe lying in a deserted road. She inspired me and my love for writing. I have always wanted to write novels and hopefully publish one someday. If I could ever write like J.K. Rowling, I would feel as though my goal for authorship was accomplished. As I think about where I am now, studying 12 hours a day (or not, because my motivation is definitely not as high as it should be), I wonder if I would have been on a better journey by getting a Ph.D in literature and becoming a teacher. It's still one of my passions, and it would have changed the path of my life to a different road.
Even as I wonder about the journey I am on, I know that God put me on it for a purpose. I have a passion for science and medicine, a passion for patient care and helping others. It is easy to forget why we are all in medical school when we are studying from the books, but I was reminded of it a couple of weekends ago when I went to our Student Outreach Clinic to volunteer. I spent 5 hours interviewing only four patients, but I got to learn about their lives and their struggles, help them get to the bottom of their healthcare -- I even got to remove staples and draw blood. That day reminded me of why I am put on this journey. Everyone is given a set of skills, and we have the capacity to do with those skills anything we wish. There is no reason why I cannot both become a good physician and someday still have the opportunity to dive deeper into my love for literature. Never lose faith, never give up, and above all, never be afraid.
As Robert Frost once said:
This week also has me thinking about my journey in life. I have mentioned before that I am taking my board exam May 24th. As this looms closer, I feel less intelligent, far behind, and more petrified. I have known for almost ten years that I wanted to go to medical school and become a physician. I have never doubted it was what I wanted to do. However, I am struggling now more than I have before with the path this journey forces you to take. You are away from your family and loved ones, studying daily and becoming exhausted. I LOVE medicine - I love learning about the intricate details of the human body, the way your brain controls your every movement and thought, the way your heart is synchronized to pump blood throughout your entire body, the way our every breath delivers oxygen to our tissues. But while I love learning about how God beautifully and wonderfully made our bodies work, it does take a toll.
Ever since I was a child, I have loved to read - poetry, novels, short stories, really anything. I grew up in love with libraries and the lives the authors create within their books. When I was in middle school, I had a teacher who made us do year-long projects to learn about writing. We wrote poems and short stories. She would give us photographs and tell us to start writing a story. I still remember that my photo was a shoe lying in a deserted road. She inspired me and my love for writing. I have always wanted to write novels and hopefully publish one someday. If I could ever write like J.K. Rowling, I would feel as though my goal for authorship was accomplished. As I think about where I am now, studying 12 hours a day (or not, because my motivation is definitely not as high as it should be), I wonder if I would have been on a better journey by getting a Ph.D in literature and becoming a teacher. It's still one of my passions, and it would have changed the path of my life to a different road.
Even as I wonder about the journey I am on, I know that God put me on it for a purpose. I have a passion for science and medicine, a passion for patient care and helping others. It is easy to forget why we are all in medical school when we are studying from the books, but I was reminded of it a couple of weekends ago when I went to our Student Outreach Clinic to volunteer. I spent 5 hours interviewing only four patients, but I got to learn about their lives and their struggles, help them get to the bottom of their healthcare -- I even got to remove staples and draw blood. That day reminded me of why I am put on this journey. Everyone is given a set of skills, and we have the capacity to do with those skills anything we wish. There is no reason why I cannot both become a good physician and someday still have the opportunity to dive deeper into my love for literature. Never lose faith, never give up, and above all, never be afraid.
As Robert Frost once said:
| Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— | |
| I took the one less traveled by, | |
| And that has made all the difference. |
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Peds and BABIES
Well, last week I missed classes because of my grandpa's cancer. He's had 3 surgeries on his colon, but they have had no chance to begin treating his liver. He is still going strong, but is recovering from surgery at the hospital and unable to walk. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers!
I'm now back at school, and it's Peds week :) After shadowing the NICU over break, I'm excited for this week. We get to go to the NICU tomorrow and do a newborn exam. We don't have any material to actually study Peds (unless we buy Nelson's Essentials of Pediatrics and read almost 900 pages in 5 days)... so we have to rely on the few lectures we have. I'm reviewing Micro and Behavioral Science (Development) this week. We also have a Biostats exam next week, which I haven't yet begun to prepare for (oops). We have to take multiple online quizzes, but we have NO lectures; we just prepare with High Yield Biostats. It's probably time to start reading that...
We have to choose our top schedules for third year within the next couples of weeks. At our school, we can choose to go to Indianapolis, stay at the campus we are at, or choose another regional campus of the 8 that offers third year. I'm currently trying to go back to the regional campus that is close to my hometown and family. They just have to make sure they have enough open spots, so I should know within the next week or so. I'm praying they have room, but I know it will all turn out for the best!
Other than reviewing for Step 1, keeping up with family, and keeping faith, there's not much else going on at this moment. I do feel behind on studying and board prep, but hopefully with time I will get it more under control.
Sorry for no exciting stories this week! The Super Bowl IS Sunday, and I'm helping to host a get together and plan on baking red velvet and chocolate cupcakes to decorate for the 49ers and Ravens. I have to have some fun somehow, right? :)
I'm now back at school, and it's Peds week :) After shadowing the NICU over break, I'm excited for this week. We get to go to the NICU tomorrow and do a newborn exam. We don't have any material to actually study Peds (unless we buy Nelson's Essentials of Pediatrics and read almost 900 pages in 5 days)... so we have to rely on the few lectures we have. I'm reviewing Micro and Behavioral Science (Development) this week. We also have a Biostats exam next week, which I haven't yet begun to prepare for (oops). We have to take multiple online quizzes, but we have NO lectures; we just prepare with High Yield Biostats. It's probably time to start reading that...
We have to choose our top schedules for third year within the next couples of weeks. At our school, we can choose to go to Indianapolis, stay at the campus we are at, or choose another regional campus of the 8 that offers third year. I'm currently trying to go back to the regional campus that is close to my hometown and family. They just have to make sure they have enough open spots, so I should know within the next week or so. I'm praying they have room, but I know it will all turn out for the best!
Other than reviewing for Step 1, keeping up with family, and keeping faith, there's not much else going on at this moment. I do feel behind on studying and board prep, but hopefully with time I will get it more under control.
Sorry for no exciting stories this week! The Super Bowl IS Sunday, and I'm helping to host a get together and plan on baking red velvet and chocolate cupcakes to decorate for the 49ers and Ravens. I have to have some fun somehow, right? :)
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