In the time since my last post, I have finished my Medicine block and have officially started my last megablock of my third year -- Surgery! Everyone says that it's the most difficult, mostly in regards to hours. I started with my subspecialty month, which gives me 10 days of pediatric urology, 10 days of pediatric cardiothoracic surgery, and 10 days of anesthesia. So far, I haven't had to work too hard... mostly 10-12 hour todays (although I was given today off for the weather and no surgeries!). I will then start general surgery in March (which I am most nervous for). They work you the hardest, and I'm almost positive I don't want to do surgery (plus the fact that the patient population will be adults again ;)). I am, however, looking forward to April/early May because I will have 5 weeks of OB/GYN and I do love myself some babies! :) I am 95% sure that I am set on doing pediatrics. When I am at the pediatric hospital, and I have a little girl come up and randomly hug my knees, or I see a little baby with Down Syndrome dancing back and forth with a big smile in his dad's arms, I cannot help but feel happy and love what I do!
I do have days where I am over this year - especially knowing what I want to do, it seems a waste of my time and seems to drag by. I know that I am learning something new every day, but I am ready for the next step. Fourth year will start in June, and we get 3 months of vacation, plus 6 months of our own chosen electives :) which I am excited for! I am ready for residency... to learn how to become a working physician of my own. I am ready to be done living in "big" cities and ready to go back to my home and live in the country! I am ready for the next step of my life. I have to keep reminding myself of why I took this path, and that each day is a blessing to learn and grow. I know that it is true, but there are days (every day) I miss my boyfriend, my family, and all my friends back at home.
There are also many things that have been on my mind in terms of things I want to do -- writing a book and poems is one of them! I know that people say all you have to do is start, and I know it is true, but it is difficult after most days getting up at 5 am, working from 6am-6pm, and coming home know I still need to study before bed. Some day, I hope that I can work on my writing. Some day, I hope I can write something that is good enough to get published. It's funny, because some day in the back of my mind, I wonder what would be if I had gotten a PhD in literature instead - been a college professor and had tons of time for my writing. But I know that God has a plan for me, a reason why I am passionate about healthcare and medicine. I just have to keep reminding myself and giving myself the motivation for a few more years.
I am thankful for the support from my amazing boyfriend. Good news that he was accepted into dental school!!! :D It makes me my heart swell to see his dreams coming true. I am thankful for my family. Not only for their support, but from the memories that made me grow up to become who I am today. It is hard to be so far away from my parents, my sister, my brother, and my nieces as they grow up. I am thankful for my friends - the ones who have stuck beside me since the days of middle school, high school, and college. They know who they are.
So as this long, cold, snowy winter has 6 weeks left, I keep reminding myself that when the snow melts, there will be room for green grass and flowers to grow. And in the meantime, I need to continue to stoke the fire of motivation in myself - and push through the next few months, knowing that the ultimate day will come when all my dreams have come true.
