The End of Another Year: Another Beginning

As the third year of medical school is coming to a close, I've been spending a lot of time looking back in reflection. In less than 2 weeks, I will be taking my last exam as a 3rd year medical student (OB/GYN), and I will be free for 2 weeks of vacation! It's amazing to me how quickly this year has gone. I know that each and every week, every month, and every new rotation, I was excited, nervous, and ready for the next step. It seems to me a common trend that everyone is anticipating the future. As an undergrad student, I was eager to be in medical school. And now each year, I am eager for the next year. And as I come to my final year in medical school, I am thinking about residency. It is all part of the journey to think of the next stepping stone on our path, but we must ask ourselves: are we missing the beauty and the experience we receive along the way?

Looking back, I am already sad to see how quickly the years have gone by. I can remember my medical school orientation. I can remember meeting those people at the Northwest campus - little did I know the friendships I would build. I can remember getting my white coat (although I think I blacked out a lot of the white coat ceremony due to nerves and excitement). I can remember learning Biochemistry, Anatomy, Physiology, Neuro, and Pharm. I can remember studying so hard but also enjoying the times I spent with the friends I made. I can remember my second year of medical school, and how quickly it seemed that test known as boards crept up on me. I can remember listening to Lose Yourself as I made my way to that exam. I can remember the butterflies in my stomach and my heart in my throat as I opened that email with my board score to have relief sweep over me. And now, another year is past.

This year, I have grown and learned more than I have realized. I found my passion in pediatrics. I can still remember the one patient who I will never forget - a little boy in a traumatic accident whose life was changed forever. I can remember the little 7 month old who always seemed to cry unless he was held. I can remember loving my pediatric neurology time. I can remember the psychiatric unit I was on during my psych month and how the patients were troubled but so fun to talk with. I can remember those long hours I spent on my medicine month in the new hospital with the beautiful room. I can remember the first heart surgery I scrubbed into on an 8 month old boy. I can remember the first time I ever performed CPR. I can remember first-assisting to remove a lobe of lung from a lady with lung cancer. I can remember the first baby I ever delivered. I can remember the feeling I had when I held that little 2 pound boy in the palms of my hands that we delivered via C-section at just 24 weeks. These are the moments I will never forget.

As I move forward to my final year of medical school, I am amazed yet again at how quickly it passes by. As we step forward to another part of our journey, I hope I enjoy every day and every patient I interact with. I hope that every day is a learning experience. I can never understand the amount of blessings I have been given in this life. While the struggles these past three years have been more than real, I can honestly say I would never have done it any other way.

A Long Winter and A Little Motivation

In the time since my last post, I have finished my Medicine block and have officially started my last megablock of my third year -- Surgery! Everyone says that it's the most difficult, mostly in regards to hours. I started with my subspecialty month, which gives me 10 days of pediatric urology, 10 days of pediatric cardiothoracic surgery, and 10 days of anesthesia. So far, I haven't had to work too hard... mostly 10-12 hour todays (although I was given today off for the weather and no surgeries!). I will then start general surgery in March (which I am most nervous for). They work you the hardest, and I'm almost positive I don't want to do surgery (plus the fact that the patient population will be adults again ;)). I am, however, looking forward to April/early May because I will have 5 weeks of OB/GYN and I do love myself some babies! :) I am 95% sure that I am set on doing pediatrics. When I am at the pediatric hospital, and I have a little girl come up and randomly hug my knees, or I see a little baby with Down Syndrome dancing back and forth with a big smile in his dad's arms, I cannot help but feel happy and love what I do!

I do have days where I am over this year - especially knowing what I want to do, it seems a waste of my time and seems to drag by. I know that I am learning something new every day, but I am ready for the next step. Fourth year will start in June, and we get 3 months of vacation, plus 6 months of our own chosen electives :) which I am excited for! I am ready for residency... to learn how to become a working physician of my own. I am ready to be done living in "big" cities and ready to go back to my home and live in the country! I am ready for the next step of my life. I have to keep reminding myself of why I took this path, and that each day is a blessing to learn and grow. I know that it is true, but there are days (every day) I miss my boyfriend, my family, and all my friends back at home.

There are also many things that have been on my mind in terms of things I want to do -- writing a book and poems is one of them! I know that people say all you have to do is start, and I know it is true, but it is difficult after most days getting up at 5 am, working from 6am-6pm, and coming home know I still need to study before bed. Some day, I hope that I can work on my writing. Some day, I hope I can write something that is good enough to get published. It's funny, because some day in the back of my mind, I wonder what would be if I had gotten a PhD in literature instead - been a college professor and had tons of time for my writing. But I know that God has a plan for me, a reason why I am passionate about healthcare and medicine. I just have to keep reminding myself and giving myself the motivation for a few more years.

I am thankful for the support from my amazing boyfriend. Good news that he was accepted into dental school!!! :D It makes me my heart swell to see his dreams coming true. I am thankful for my family. Not only for their support, but from the memories that made me grow up to become who I am today. It is hard to be so far away from my parents, my sister, my brother, and my nieces as they grow up. I am thankful for my friends - the ones who have stuck beside me since the days of middle school, high school, and college. They know who they are.

So as this long, cold, snowy winter has 6 weeks left, I keep reminding myself that when the snow melts, there will be room for green grass and flowers to grow. And in the meantime, I need to continue to stoke the fire of motivation in myself - and push through the next few months, knowing that the ultimate day will come when all my dreams have come true.